A remedy for Bush's political foibles
Adam Krause
Contributing columnist
As we crawl toward election time, many people are still focused on the conflict in Iraq, and you can’t blame them, because that’s one of the main things being spoon-fed to us by the popular media outlets. Bush’s decision almost a year ago is one that may have tarnished his image irreparably, but there are other issues on the table as well. Lots of people are now directing their anger toward Bush and large corporations as a result of Bush‘s proposal.
As I mentioned before, our economy is growing in some sectors and in some regions of the country, but Michigan has thus far gotten the short end of the stick. Now, the national economy is certainly not based around how Michigan is doing, and it would be arrogant to blame the President for Michigan’s problems alone. So if you were Bush’s campaign manager, how could you win back the support of those millions of people who now despise the incumbent President? Let’s go out on a limb here.
Bush proposed giving guest worker status for up to eight million illegal immigrants who are currently defying the law of the land. Anyway, businesses will be forced to pay them the same wages as Americans, so that way our average wages don’t decrease. American employers would probably prefer English-speaking workers, but even so, that’s still about eight million more people looking for jobs in a country that is already lacking in them.
Then we’ve got the ongoing war in Iraq. Our men and women in the service can expect to be in that oil-filled land for at least another two years. That’s a pretty low-ball estimate, though if Bush is re-elected, our military will be engaged in all of our current "liberation" missions for many years to come. Hell, maybe there’ll be some new ones too.
Although I don’t support the immigration proposal or the conflict in Iraq, there is one possible benefit that is somewhat of a long shot. I say to hell with it; give those immigrants legal status for 6 years. How much worse can the economy get, anyway? It’ll come around sometime. Just let these newly-legalized Americans get nice and comfortable here, start families and make plans for the future. Soon they’ll start feeling like real Americans, free and proud.
Of course the American experience wouldn't be complete without sending them a Selective Service Card; how appealing would America looks then?
Or they could include a clause in their immigration paperwork that allows the military to draft these immigrants. We could slowly pull all our "real" American troops out of Iraq, and still have millions in our reserve Immigrant Army. Friends and families of troops would love Bush for bringing our troops home, and so would anti-war folks.
Unions would be ecstatic at seeing millions of people completely disappearing from the job search; jealous, domestic workers could finally calm down and enjoy a beer without worrying about some formerly-illegal immigrant taking their jobs.
Immigrants would no doubt be angered over the whole issue, but they’d be so busy fighting a war for a lost cause that they wouldn’t have time to complain. They wouldn’t get a chance at dissent anyway, seeing that few of our troops do. That would be ideal, though controversial, and it might just guarantee re-election for George W.
Now all Bush has to do is wait for Hell to freeze over.